Michael Bay diarrhea
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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