So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is classic penis vs brain.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
