Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
