Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
