a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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