a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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