the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
