Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
