tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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