To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
