the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
