I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize