I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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