he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
