Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
