Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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