It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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