Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you never un-have a 4some
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
