alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
