is your mom at the bar?
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
