Ambien. No doubt about it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
