You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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