people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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