suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
