sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
