on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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