I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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