so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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