so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
