So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
