You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
