How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
