Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
