I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
