IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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