Taylor Swift is so right about you.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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