You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
