remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
tequila makes me forget i have legs
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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