I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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