sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just high enough for therapy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize