i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
