Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
