A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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