She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
