OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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