the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
