I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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