do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
