I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my shit smells like andre
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
