I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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