How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We left the knife in your bed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
