Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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