I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I came so hard my ears popped.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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