Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.

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(925): View more from California

can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

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(504): View more from Louisiana

they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...

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(734): View more from Michigan

i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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(231): View more from Michigan

His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

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(785): View more from Kansas

He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.

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(585): View more from New York

PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME

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(813): View more from Florida

I call bullshit

(315): View more from New York

Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock

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