The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
