he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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