And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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