Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
