wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
