I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How's work?
Spinning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
