I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
