Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
