woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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